I know, religion is one of the big taboo subjects, but I’m here to talk to you about pecan pie. (What, food IS religion! Just ask any Chicagoan about deep dish “Chicago style” pizza, a Philadelphian about Jersey hoagies, a Southerner about Sweet Tea, or a New Yorker about bagels.)
I’m from California, a state that is known for California fusion cuisine, which is a cross between traditional French and Hong Kong. (Of course, even that is up for debate, but it’s my story, I’ll tell it how I want to.) We don’t have pecans as a thing there, which is apparently unlike the entire American South. But now, I live in Chicago, Illinois, which is smack in the middle of the American Midwest.
I was out somewhere a few years back and they had “Chocolate Pecan Pie” as a thing on the menu. I adore chocolate, and I like pecans, but I’d never had pecan pie (wha??), so I thought, what the heck. Nuts and chocolate, it’s a win. It’s like a Snickers bar.
So me, all innocently, said to a friend from said American South, hey, I had this thing, and it was nom, and they were all like,
Pecan Pie Does Not Come with Chocolate!
(Imagine the voice of Zeus.) (LOUD.)
I’m all, but it was good!
So I got me a lecture, in how pecan pie is a thing, A Tradition, and that I was somehow insulting the whole of American history by eating such a blasphemous thing as Pecan Pie with Chocolate. It’s not called Chocolate Pecan Pie, because there is no such thing as Chocolate Pecan Pie. There’s pecan pie, and there’s chocolate. Never the twain shall meet.
So why’d they have it on the menu?
You’re a Californian. What do you know about pie? You probably put avocado and sprouts on yours.
So I asked some friends here in Chicago, had they heard of pecan pie with chocolate.
Chocolate Pecan Pie Is Awesome Sauce!
(Imagine the voice is Zeus.) (LOUD.)
Mic drop, right?
Dude. It’s pie. Eat both, see which one you like.
I know, blasphemy.
I’ll just go eat my avocado and sprouts in peace.
Happy almost Thanksgiving, and pass the pie, will ya?
– E.E. Cummings
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